08S23 Food!!

Sunday, June 29, 2008

HeLLO! This will be my first post on this blog and now Guodong is gonna entertain you...

Here are some jokes for the day..

You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say:"I am very rich. Marry me!" That's Direct Marketing

You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl.One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says:"He's very rich. Marry him." That's Advertising.

You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and get her telephone number. The next day you call and say:"Hi, I'm very rich. Marry me." That's Tele- marketing .

You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl. You get up and straighten your tie; you walk up to her and pour her a drink. You open the door for her, pick up her bag after she drops it, offer her a ride You then say:"By the way, I'm very rich "Will you marry me?" That's Public Relations.

You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl. She walks up to you and says:"You are very rich..." That's Brand Recognition.

You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say:"I'm rich. Marry me."She gives you a nice hard slap on your face. That's Customer Feedback.

okay more more more

A priest and pastor from the local parishes are standing by the side of the road holding up a sign that reads, "The End is Near! Turn yourself around now before it's too late!"

They planned to hold up the sign to each passing car.

"Leave us alone you religious nuts!" yelled the first driver as he sped by. From around the curve they heard screeching tires and a big splash.

"Do you think," said one clergy to the other, "we should just put up a sign that says "Bridge Broken" instead?"

NEXT!!!!

A man and his wife were in a court for their divorce case. The Problem was who should get custody of the child.

The wife screamed and jumped up and said: "Your Honor. I brought The child into the world with all the pain and labor. The child should be in my custody."

The judge turned to the husband and said: "What do you have to Say in your defense?"

The man sat for a while contemplating. ..then slowly rose. "Your Honor... If I put a dollar in a Pepsi Vending Machine and a Pepsi Comes out... Whose Pepsi is it... The machine's or mine?"

HAHA one more one more

There was an old professor who started every class with a vulgar joke. After one particularly nasty example, the women in the class decided to walk out the next time he started.

The professor got wind of this plot, so the next morning he walked in and said, â€œGood morning, class. Did you hear the one about the shortage of whores in India?â€

With that, all the women stood up and headed for the door.

â€œWait, ladies,â€ cried the professor, â€œthe boat doesnâ€™t leave until tomorrow!â€

HAHAHAHA sorry ladies :P

A Red Indian boy goes to his mother one day with a puzzled look on his face.
'Say, Mom,' he asked, 'why is my big brother named Mighty Storm'?
''Because he was conceived during a mighty storm.' she replied.'Why is my sister named 'Corn Flower'?
''Well,' his mother answered, 'Your father and I were in a cornfield when we made her.''And why is my other sister called 'Moon Child'?''We were watching the moon landing while she was conceived,' the mother replied.

The mother then asked the boy, 'Tell me, Broken Rubber, why are you so curious?'

LAST ONE

A woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods. She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap. The frog said to her, 'If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three wishes.'

The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, 'Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes. Whatever you wish for, your husband will get times ten!'

The woman said, 'That's okay.' For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world. The frog warned her, 'You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis whom women will flock to'.

The woman replied, 'That's okay, because I will be the most beautiful woman and he will have eyes only for me.' So, KAZAM-she's the most beautiful Woman in the world!

For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world. The frog said, 'That will make your husband the richest man in the world. And he will be ten times richer than you.'

The woman said, 'That's okay, because what's mine is his and what's his is mine.' So, KAZAM-she's the richest woman in the world! The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, 'I'd like a mild heart attack.'

->Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don't mess with them!!!!!Attention female readers : This is the end of the joke for you. Stop here and continue feeling good. Male readers : Please scroll down

.................................. .. The man had a heart attack ten times milder than his wife. Moral of the story : Women are really dumb but think they're really smart. Let them continue to think that way and just enjoy the show.

PS: If you are a woman and are still reading this; it only goes to show that women never listen!!!

Thats all for today! and most importantly, no offence to women=D

From your dearest Chem Rep
JELLY

9:27 PM